How to become Fluent in English & How to win over people

 

The natural order  for babies and children is listening, speaking, reading, then writing.

First Problem

 

Isn’t it strange that schools across the world teach reading first, then writing,

then listening, and finally speaking?

 

Although it is different, the main reason is because when you learn a second language, you need to read material to understand and learn it.

 

 

14 Methods for Improving Your Spoken English

 

1.   Think in English.

 

Sometimes the difficult thing about talking in a new language isn’t the language itself, but how you think about it. If you think in your native language and then try to speak English, you’ll always have to translate between languages. Translating isn’t an easy thing to do! Even people fluent in two or more languages have trouble switching between languages. The solution is to think in English.
You can do this anywhere, anytime. Try to use English when you’re thinking about your day, or when you’re trying to decide what food to order. Even try to use an English to English dictionary to look up words. That way you never have to use your native language and translate words. You’ll notice that when you think in English, it’s easier for you to speak in English.

2. Talk to yourself.

Whenever you’re at home (or alone somewhere else) you can practice your English with your favorite person: yourself. If you’re already thinking in English, try speaking your thoughts out loud. Read out loud, too. Practice is practice, and even if you don’t have anyone to correct your mistakes, just the act of speaking out loud will help you become more comfortable speaking English.

3. Use a mirror.

Whenever you can, take a few minutes out of your day to stand in front of the mirror and speak. Choose a topic, set a timer for 2 or 3 minutes and just talk. The point of this exercise is to watch your mouth, face and body language as you speak. It also makes you feel like you’re talking to someone, so you can pretend you’re having a discussion with a study buddy.
Talk for the full 2 or 3 minutes. Don’t stop! If you get stuck on a word you don’t know, try expressing your idea in a different way. You can always look up how to say that word after the 2-3 minutes end. This will definitely help you find out what kinds of words or sentences you have trouble with.

4. Focus on fluency, not grammar.

This rule might sound strange to many students, but it is one of the most important rules. If you want to pass examinations, then study grammar. However, if you want to become fluent in English, then you should try to learn English without studying the grammar.

Studying grammar will only slow you down and confuse you. You will think about the rules when creating sentences instead of naturally saying a sentence like a native. Remember that only a small fraction of English speakers know more than 20% of all the grammar rules.

 

When you speak in English, how often do you stop?

The more you stop, the less confident you sound and the less comfortable you become. Try the mirror exercise above, but challenge yourself to speak without stopping or stammering (taking pauses between your words) the entire time. This might mean that your sentences won’t be grammatically perfect, and that’s okay! If you focus on speaking fluently instead of correctly, you’ll still be understood and you’ll sound better. You can fill in the correct grammar and word rules as you learn them better.

5. Try some tongue twisters.

Tongue twisters are series of words that are difficult to say quickly. One example is: “The thirty-three thieves thought that they thrilled the throne throughout Thursday.” Try saying this a few times! It’s not easy.
Word games like this will help you find the right placement for your mouth and tongue, and can even help your pronunciation. You can find a list of great tongue twisters here.
6. Listen and repeat.
Do you watch TV shows or YouTube videos in English? Use them to improve your fluency. Choose a short part of a show and repeat it line by line. Try to match the tone, speed and even the accent (if you can). It doesn’t matter if you miss a few words, the important thing is to keep talking. Try to sound just like the native speakers on the show.

7. Pay attention to stressed sounds.

English uses stresses in words and sentences. That means you’ll need to stress, or emphasize, certain words and syllables (sounds) to give words and sentences different meanings.
Listen to where native speakers place the emphasis when they speak. Try to repeat it the same way.

This won’t only help you speak well, it might even reduce misunderstandings. Sometimes the placing the stress on the wrong syllable completely changes the word. The word Address, for instance, isn’t the same as the word address. ADdress refers to a physical location where someone lives, and adDRESS means to formally speak to a group of people. Learn to hear the difference!

8. Sing along to English songs.

Singing along to your favorite English songs will help you become more fluent.
Once you can sing along to Taylor Swift and Jason Mraz, you can test your skills with something a bit more difficult: rap! Rap is a great way to practice English because often the words are spoken like regular sentences. However, the rapper uses a stronger rhythm and faster speed. Some of the words might not make sense, but if you can keep up with the rapper then you’re on your way to becoming fluent!

9. Learn word forms with new words.

Some practice comes before you even open your mouth. Make speaking easier by learning the different forms of any words you learn. You should do this when you’re learning new vocabulary. For example, if you just learned the word write, you should also learn some other forms like wrote and written.
Knowing the correct way to use a word in any kind of sentence is important. This knowledge will help you while speaking. You won’t have to stop and think of different words—you’ll know exactly when you need to use that word while speaking.

10. Learn phrases, not words.

An even better idea is to learn word phrases, not just words.
You might be using correct grammar and vocabulary, but it’s still not how a native speaker would say it.
For example, you can say “how do you feel today?” but a native speaker might say “how’re you doing?” or “what’s up?” instead. Phrases and expressions can be helpful for sounding more natural when you speak.

11. Learn your most common sayings.

Take some time to really notice how you speak in your native language.
What words and phrases do you use the most often?
Learn how to say your most commonly used phrases and words in English. Knowing them in English will help you speak as well in English as you do in your native language.

12. Prepare for specific situations.

Are you learning English for a specific reason? For example, are you learning English so you can get a job in an English-speaking company? In that case, practice English that will help you in an interview. Are you learning English so you can make friends in America? Then you would need a different kind of English.
Before you go to a place where you have to speak English, you can practice what you might have to say. If you’re preparing to go to a restaurant, what might conversations in a restaurant sound like? Answer the questions a waiter might ask you. Try talking about food and menus.
You’ll feel more confident if you’re prepared!

13. Relax!

You can be your best helper or your worst enemy when learning to speak fluently! We know it’s hard, but you should try not to worry about how you sound when you speak. Just relax!
If you get stuck or confused, just take a big breath and start over. Speak slower if you have to. Take time to pause and think about your next sentence. Do whatever it takes to become more comfortable with speaking English.

14. Tell a story from your language in English.

Here’s a fun way to test how well your spoken English has developed: choose a story that you know really well and tell it in English. Remember to think in English as you’re telling your story. Focus on speaking fluently instead of correctly. Say every sentence out loud to yourself. Even if you have nobody to talk to in English, you can still build confidence and master fluency on your own time.

 

 

 

 

 

How to Win over people

 

How do you make everyone like you? How do you become the sort of person that everyone wants to talk to? I don’t claim to be an expert (I still make plenty of mistakes) but here are some rules on how to charm anyone…

Rule 1: No one is interested in you

The quickest and easiest top tip to remember is this – no one cares about you. They don’t want to know about you. They’re not bothered about where you’re going on holiday. They’re not impressed that you once interviewed Will Smith (I did, you know). They don’t even care if you’ve got an upcoming operation… All they care about is themselves.

With this in mind, become the kind of person who is interested in other people because we all love the opportunity to talk about ourselves – so imagine how popular you’ll be if you’re allowing others to talk as much as they like!

Ask lots of questions, be genuinely interested, ensure the conversation revolves around the other person, retain eye contact, smile, ask further questions – most importantly, enjoy listening. You might not end up saying much, or talking about yourself but it doesn’t matter. This is all about charm, and allowing people to chat about themselves is the easiest way to win them over.

Rule 2: If people ask you questions…?

If you’ve followed rule number one and have allowed the other person to do all the talking, they might ask you questions in return. In which case, be prepared to charm by following these simple tips – always keep things relatively short and sweet; don’t go into unnecessary details or waffle; be humble and don’t show off; and finally, don’t bring up anything negative, political or inappropriate… keep things light, fun and interesting, and you can’t go wrong.

Rule 3: Use the sweetest sound in the world

When you first meet someone, repeat their name to remember it and then drop it occasionally into the conversation. So for example, ‘Hi Tom, I’m Katy’, and then use their name again if appropriate. Repeat it once more when you say goodbye. The sound of our own name is the sweetest sound in the world, and people will really warm to you if you say their name and remember it.

Rule 4: Weakness is off-putting

People can always smell weakness, particularly if you’re shy or lacking in confidence. They’ll sense something isn’t quite right and might take an instant dislike to you. Work on your social skills and become comfortable in your own skin. Walk into a room with your head held high, become extremely confident around other company and speak up.

You are worth a hell of a lot, and you deserve just as much success as anyone else. So stand tall and be bold. If you’re struggling, think of a confident role model and copy their body language and mannerisms. Soon enough, you’ll be boldly walking up to people and introducing yourself without a care in the world.

Rule 5: Get your body language right

Body language is very important, so practice in front of a mirror or with a friend until you get it right. You want to ensure arms are open and not crossed; that legs are relaxed and not crossed and that overall, you look relaxed and approachable.

Best way to achieve great body language? Work on feeling relaxed and comfortable in your own skin. People who tend to cross their arms or cover their mouths or fidget could be revealing lots of insecurities and that can be off-putting.

Rule 6: Use the right tone of voice

Tone of voice is just as important as body language. You want to avoid shouting or coming across as aggressive by using a relaxed, gentle tone of voice. You also want to practice the art of assertiveness, i.e. getting your point across confidently without being defensive or aggressive. Work on your self-esteem as well and get used to hearing the sound of your own voice.

Rule 7: Use the right language

Keep conversation professional at all times by using polite language. For example, never say ‘Ay up!’, always say ‘Hello’ instead. And don’t forget your manners. Also, try and keep everything very positive. Don’t bring up the awful time you had on holiday or complain about the state of the economy. Charm people over by talking about polite, professional and happy things.

Rule 8: Smile!

A smile is infectious. Everyone loves a happy person, so smile and be happy to be around others. Your happy state of mind will shine through and make you very likeable. If, on the other hand, you’re grumpy or disinterested – it will be obvious and you won’t leave a very good first impression, so smile!

Rule 9: Praise others instead of getting involved in gossip

Whether you’re at a networking event or in a meeting, people can sometimes talk about others in a negative way. To combat this, don’t get involved. Instead, say something really positive about that person or company.

This attitude is the way I live my life and I always find it works very well because it shows how sincere and trustworthy you are. I hate gossip and I get a very bad impression of people who bitch. If you want to charm people, steer clear of the backstabbing and become a nice person instead.

Rule 10: Find their interests

If the conversation is quite slow, try to discover the other person’s hobbies or passions. Do they like football? Are they into Formula1? Do they have a tan… Ask them if they’ve been on holiday. When you find a topic that makes their eyes light up, ask lots of questions and be genuinely interested in their passion, even if it’s something you’re not bothered about. They’ll love you for it.

Rule 11: Don’t people-please

There will be the odd occasion when you need to speak your mind or share a point of view that others might disagree with. In which case, still keep things light but be open and honest. You have to remember that being charming isn’t about ‘people-pleasing’. You still have to believe in yourself and your own principles. People will always respect your opinion – just make sure you express it in the right way.

Rule 12: Remember the little details

To stay charming, write down the little details about people so you remember them for next time you meet. For example, a new client might tell you about his wife and new baby… so next time you see him, ask how the baby and mum are doing. This is a great way to show people you care while making them feel important